A roundup of actual items, excerpted from the police blotter of the Lake Oswego Review newspaper:
Extra traffic enforcement was requested for the traffic jam at Starbucks’ drive-thru window on Boones Ferry Road.
A woman has constantly been chasing peacocks around the yards of her neighbors.
A burglar tried to break into Julie’s Travel Desk on First Street overnight.
An unfriendly lady neighbor is throwing vegetables from her deck into a man’s yard on Hillside Lane.
A dirty man was seen lying on the ground on Boones Ferry Road and Kerr Parkway.
A woman says she has received an eviction notice due to a garden box placement that has been there for six years.
It is suspected a prostitute has set up shop at a location on Bangy Road.
A dog on Evergreen Road has not stopped barking for seven days.
A man was lodged at a detox center after making an unwelcome appearance at a sushi bar.
A resident of Lake Grove Avenue was surprised to look out in his yard and see a stranger exercising.
A woman returned to her car parked on Davis Lane and found that it had been hit by another vehicle. The driver had left a note, but it was barely readable due to being soaked by rain.
While examining his new residence, a man discovered evidence of past marijuana growth.
Two door-to-door gutter cleaners are fighting over who gets the job to clean a house on Touchstone.
An employee is suspected of taking items from a site on Bangy Road for the past six months.
When a man heard someone banging on his bedroom window, he ran outside with a fireplace poker to confront the possible prowler.
A stepfather is not allowing a father to park in a driveway to pick up his children, and there is no parking on the street.
A pressure washer was used to spray mud all over a man’s car on Fourth Street near the Lake Oswego Library.
A 19½-year-old son does not want to go on a family vacation.
A child kept jumping in and out of a car while adults argued in front of a pharmacy on Boones Ferry.
While out getting their morning coffee, two women appeared to be snorting drugs and getting high as they went through the drive-thru at Starbucks on Boones Ferry Road.
A UPS delivery man with a big moustache was mistaken for an intruder on Glen Eagles Road.
A tempestuous teen tossed a tangerine at a man who was up on a ladder cleaning gutters on Oak Street.
It was suspected that a drug deal was taking place during a poker game somewhere in the Bangy Road area.
Two elderly women pushed their way through a door at a residence at Hidalgo.
A bleeding man with a gun in his left hip pocket went into a store on Southwest Heather Place and claimed he was a federal agent who had been pulled over by state troopers and had his ID taken away. The man then took off in his van, which contained a woman and three children. The federal agent was wearing plaid pajama bottoms and an Oregon Ducks Rose Bowl T-shirt.
For the Record 