A roundup of actual items, excerpted from the records of the Lake Oswego and West Linn, Ore., police departments:
A woman found a baseball in her house on Hoodview Ave. and wasn’t sure how it got there.
Juveniles from a youth group at Lake Grove Presbyterian Church have been walking through a yard on Sunset Drive.
A suspicious man in a car on Prospect St. was just waiting for his grandson to board the bus safely.
A German shepherd puppy ran after a woman and pulled her skirt on Sunset Drive.
Someone was heard rummaging through a car in a garage on Hall Court. It was the homeowner.
An elderly man walking near Lancaster Street and Parker Road appeared confused. He was not.
An officer attempted to help a bird in the 3800 block of Wild Rose Drive.
A female driver was grimacing in the 19500 block of Hidden Springs Road in West Linn.
A repairman tore out an AC unit on Auburn Court in Lake Oswego, but it turned out that he was at the wrong address.
A suspicious landscaping truck in the 19600 block of Wildwood Drive was there to do some landscaping.
A motorcycle was racing around the West Linn Albertsons parking lot for an hour. At 6:42, the driver crashed but wasn’t hurt.
A teen girl was standing on the West A Street-I-205 overpass in West Linn “looking tired.”
A deceased squirrel had to be removed from the 19500 block of Hidden Springs Road.
A woman found a mysterious vehicle parked in her driveway in the 2900 block of Winkel Way. It was her cleaning lady.
An unfamiliar truck filled with stuff, including a dog, was left in the 23000 block of Horizon Drive.
A radio was too loud in West Linn.
A mysterious man was seen in some trees on Davis Lane. When a woman shined a flashlight on him, he moved to a picnic table.
A suspicious man in a car on Apollo Road was actually just waiting for a friend.
A 7-year-old girl missing from the 4000 block of Serango Court was found hiding in the house.
A man parked in a driveway in the 18700 block of Old River Drive and rubbing his head raised concern.
A West Linn mother was upset with her 31-year-old son, who refused to help carry the laundry.
A man sitting on a retaining wall in the 5400 block of West A Street was flipping off passing drivers.
Three skateboarders hanging around a medical office on Mercantile Drive were making people nervous.
About 25 goats got loose on the roadway at Berwick Court and Lake Forest Drive.
An unfamiliar person was noticed walking around in a home in the 6500 block of Lowry Drive. It was the homeowner’s brother.