papa grizzly

A roundup of actual items, excerpted from the records of the Lake Oswego and West Linn, Ore., police departments:

An overly aggressive parent at the International Leadership Academy bared his teeth and used offensive language.

An 11-year-old girl and her father were arguing about the contents of a shoebox.

Someone has been making noises over a school intercom for the past year and a half.

A suspicious driver on Ridgewood Way was ogling an elderly neighbor’s home.

A woman is distraught because her Chihuahua got loose and is running around on the road.

A driver of a Buick began making weird faces at a woman, then got in front of her and slammed on his brakes.

Someone was seen on the roof of Lil’ Cooperstown. It was a worker cleaning the vents.

The sounds of a vehicle locking and unlocking were suspicious on the 6200 block of Meridian Circle.

A bundle of shingles fell off a roof on the 1300 block of Skye Parkway.

A waitress taking photos of credit cards was really capturing a computer glitch to show her restaurant manager.

A woman called to complain about her sisters. She does not want them around her.

A female is dancing on the sidewalk and waving at people on B Avenue.

Concern was expressed that a fireman accepting donations on a ramp was not legitimate.

Two amateur mimes pretending to pull a rope caused two cars to slam on their brakes on Carman Drive.

A tan Chihuahua was found sitting in a woman’s mailbox on Glenmorrie Drive.

A cable guy on a roof in the 18900 block of Walling Circle was deemed suspicious.

A woman wanted an officer to speak with her 12-year-old son who was refusing to get ready for football.

Someone parked in a woman’s reserved spot on Foothills Drive, and apartment managers refused to do anything about it.

A “short driver in a big truck” had trouble seeing over the dashboard and was swerving.

A caller on Falcon Drive wanted to make sure a large, old TV left in front on a home wasn’t stolen.

A woman decided to keep a pair of old handcuffs that she had considered turning in to police.

A suspicious vehicle in the 18400 block of Upper Midhill Drive was an airport pick-up service.

A woman is refusing to let anyone in a house while she burns paper and urinates on clothes.

Police responded to a disturbance on Exeter Street that was really two people yelling at a video game.

A woman confronted a neighbor over an incident that involved her dog a few weeks ago.

A driver passed out on State Street wasn’t drunk, just tired from a long flight.

A woman refused to turn off the light bulb on her porch, so a neighbor woman unscrewed it. The unscrewer was then removed from the location.

A religious zealot who resembled a hobo has been standing at the entrance to Lake Oswego Junior High School.

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