A roundup of actual items, excerpted from the records of the Lake Oswego and West Linn, Ore., police departments:
A solicitor began scrubbing a porch on Durham and Wilbur streets as a way to demonstrate her product. However, there was no one home at the time.
A man carrying peanut butter and several bags while looking at a map was regarded with suspicion on Walking Woods Drive.
A Rolex valued at $8,000 was stolen from the 23000 block of Bland Circle.
A woman is feeling harassed by a neighbor who is filming her and calling her a drunk.
A suspicious man parked in a vehicle on the 4100 block of Mapleton Drive was waiting to meet someone to go to a wedding.
Chickens were at large on the 1700 block of Regency Street.
Juveniles were reported to be breaking up furniture.
Women’s clothing was found inside a Porta Potty on the 5600 block of Hood Street.
A man wearing a facemask aroused suspicion on Dogwood Drive.
Raccoons were fighting near Riverview and Sunset Avenues.
A bullet was found lodged in a dryer vent on the 2600 block of Woodsprite Court.
Suspicious tree trimming was taking place near Rosepark Drive and Shannon Lane.
The smoking of an herbal product in Foothills Park drew the attention of police.
A neighbor has taken the couch out of one property and placed it in his driveway on Twin Fir Road.
A woman keeps getting into arguments with the same guy in the parking lot of a supermarket.
Two 11-year-old girls selling magazines were reported missing from the 2200 block of Michael Drive. They were found next door.
While walking through traffic on Country Club Road, a man with a toothbrush in his mouth and wearing headphones seemed to be disoriented.
A mother-in-law, banned from going to her son-in-law’s home, left notes and balloons at a neighbor’s house for her grandchildren. Further action against her is contemplated.
A female on the 5200 block of Windsor Terrace was scared a subject was in her house. It was her brother.
An unusual man is making a scene on Blue Heron Road by dancing around, talking to himself and throwing rocks.
While parked at a Shell station on Boones Ferry Road, a female driver slapped a car window and left her palm print because she was upset that the other woman driver didn’t move her car quickly enough.
A rat crawled into a coffee shop and died.
A skinny shaved-headed man in a green sweatshirt was flipping off motorists on Maple Circle and South Shore Boulevard.
Two unknown men were in a backyard on the 2400 block of Fifth Avenue. They were PGE workers installed fiber-optic lines.
A suspiciously parked car at Shari’s was someone checking the restaurant’s takeout menu.
An elderly lady in a robe has been walking around Boones Ferry Road. However, the person worried about her was informed this is normal behavior for the woman.