A roundup of actual items, excerpted from the records of the Lake Oswego and West Linn, Ore., police departments:
A bundled-up blanket along northbound I-205 south of 10th Street was just a blanket.
A resident of Lamont Way noticed a statue of an angel in a neighbor’s yard that doesn’t belong there.
The “open” sign at Biscuits Cafe is turned on, but the restaurant is closed.
A neighbor is refusing to give back a woman’s cat after originally taking it in for temporary safekeeping.
A resident of the Peters Lane/Hopkins Lane area complained that construction workers were screaming, singing too loudly and playing loud music too early in the morning. An investigation revealed that nothing out of the ordinary was happening.
Two drunken women knocked on a door in the 22800 block of Willamette Drive just to “say hi.”
Questionable characters at the McDonald’s drive-thru were not drunk, just hungry.
A resident complained about kids with a garbage can in the street in the 1600 block of Village Park Place. They were making a movie.
Extra patrols were requested at Oswego Pointe Apartments due to vandalism incidents that occurred over the weekend. Apartment managers received reports about ketchup and spaghetti sauce being poured on vehicles.
A family in the 4200 block of Summerlinn Drive is arguing about who gets an ill mother’s china.
Two teenage males and a 55-year-old woman were cited for violations that took place at a drunken party where somebody broke a leg.
A Slurpee was dumped on a vehicle in the 3100 block of Sabo Lane.
An ax was seized from the 5500 block of Sinclair Street.
A duck on a statue at city hall was found to have disappeared.
A large mirror was among the items lifted from a carport on E Avenue.
A woman feels threatened by a message she received from a dating website.
A customer started being disruptive in the lobby of a candy store.
Strange things are happening in a parking lot on North State Street.
A woman is receiving harassing calls from Jamaica claiming she won a lottery.
Wet weather has caused stones to sink along a walkway at Fields Bridge Park.
A drunken former Shari’s employee refused to leave the restaurant.
A yelling customer was upsetting the atmosphere at Plaid Pantry on Pilkington Road. He was upset about an employee taking too long to count his change.
An unknown subject entered residence in the 2700 block of S.E. Sunflower through unlocked window, took a 24-pack of Coors Light and left through the back door.
A man in black was reportedly acting strangely and doing “Karate Kid”-type moves around George Rogers Park.
A 23-year-old transient was taken into custody at the Sandy Library, where previously she had been excluded. During questioning, it was discovered she had possession of a library book that had not been checked out.
A red 2000 Volvo with a giant butterfly sticker in the back window was stolen overnight from the 6000 block of Northeast Alder. The owners had left the keys in the vehicle. Later in the day, the Volvo was recovered in the New Seasons parking lot with the driver’s side window down. The vehicle had been ransacked and several items were missing from the vehicle, including a laptop and iPad.
A man and a woman were arrested after swapping their shoes for new pairs at Nordstrom Rack, then resisting apprehension.
A woman who lives on Oak Street became suspicious when she discovered a wet footprint on her front porch. Upon further investigation, she discovered that the footprint was her own.