bangerz

A roundup of actual items, excerpted from the police blotters of the Lake Oswego and West Linn, Ore., newspapers:

After hearing the click of a gun, a woman is more fearful than ever that an unknown female is out to kill her.

A caller thought a man wearing fatigue pants and no shirt riding a motorcycle in the 22700 block of Salamo Road “looked unusual.”

A man was seen digging up ferns on a private lot on Skye Parkway.

A thief took advantage of an open house on Rogers Road to steal a container holding 100 prescription drugs.

A man slumped in his vehicle in the 5600 block of Hood Street was just parked and using the Starbucks Wi-Fi.

A dog defecated in a woman’s yard on Wax Wing Circle.

A woman was suspected of DUII after her unsteady driving on Stafford Road. It turned out she had just gotten new glasses and was having trouble getting used to them.

A suspicious man walking near Robinwood Village was just a new resident.

A drunken woman screamed for help as a man sat on her; apparently, he was actually trying to help her.

After robbing an unlocked shed, a thief threw some tuna on a car parked on Wood Thrush Circle. Loss was set at $5.

A naked man was seen on a log masturbating in the 5400 block of West A Street.

A light bulb at the back of a house on Westview Court was unscrewed over the weekend.

A big purple overstuffed chair was dumped at the end of G Avenue.

A woman wants to get rid of the three guys standing outside her house.

Suspicious people running through a park in the 1400 block of Lewis Street were just playing tag.

A resident in the 5500 block of First Court believes a neighbor has been listening in on her for several years.

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