petal pusher

A roundup of actual items, excerpted from the police blotters of the Lake Oswego and West Linn, Ore., newspapers:

When confronted by police about unauthorized sale of flowers from a street corner in downtown Lake Oswego, a woman insisted she was not selling flowers but giving them away.

A man reportedly peering in cars on Rosemont Road was just dropping off a “secret Santa” gift nearby.

A dog with a four-year history of barking too much is now walking down Poplar Way.

A family returned from vacation to find that two large planters had been taken from their front porch on Westfield Court.

A woman was caught stealing digestion pills from Market of Choice.

An unfamiliar vehicle in the 3700 block of Fairhaven Drive was just a rental.

A suspicious man carrying a clipboard was spotted in the 3000 block of Sabo Lane.

A woman in the 20700 block of Willamette was the victim of a prank call.

Porcelain totem poles made by students were damaged by a vandal.

A beaver suddenly appeared on the roadway on Iron Mountain Boulevard.

A man is going from door to door flapping his arms like wings.

A suspected alarm in a neighborhood turned out to be crickets.

A male is getting dressed and undressed on Eaglecrest Drive.

Two suspicious loiterers at a business turned out to be culinary students.

While hitchhiking on Greenbrier Road, a man broke into a dance.

A suspicious shopping cart was disturbing in the 2900 block of Mark Lane.

A man with a crowbar aroused worry in a woman. It turned out he was actually carrying a flute.

A family suspects their landlord wants to turn their son into the devil.

A cat bit a woman in the 3600 block of Wild Rose Loop.

A big guy who dyes his hair and appears intoxicated has caused ongoing problems with bad parking.

Two odd men wearing beanies were walking around a parking garage on Third Street late at night.

A hitchhiker appeared not to be dressed for the weather near Marylhurst and Willamette drives.

A man waving his arms on a street corner was just enjoying music while waiting for a bus.



american hustle

A roundup of actual items, excerpted from the police blotters of the Lake Oswego and West Linn, Ore., newspapers:

A man accidentally loaned his friend a stolen Ford Falcon.

A caller was frightened by a “round, bright white light shining through the trees.” It was the moon.

Loud holiday music could be heard in the 1100 block of Blankenship Road.

An ill duck was trapped on a building ledge on Meadows Road.

A vehicle was scratched in the 1800 block of Blankenship Road.

A stinking truck full of garbage and rats is being left on First Street.

While seeking to find the source of the odor of marijuana, a man discovered a wandering skunk.

A couch was disposed of in a front yard in the 1100 block of Blankenship Road.

A drunken driver showed up at a garage sale.

A mysterious chicken suddenly appeared on Sierra Vista Drive. Police couldn’t make it go away.

Loud singing from a pub bothered neighbors.

While vacationing in Arizona, a woman had her antique cast iron chairs stolen from her backyard.

Barking dogs are disrupting physicians’ concentration while they are doing procedures on patients.

A hanger found in a driveway in the 1500 block of Sixth Street caused suspicion.

A man wearing huge shoes heedlessly walked into traffic near Mark Lane and Willamette Drive.

A stolen vehicle was recovered in the 1800 block of Blankenship Road.

Some juveniles took a watering can to the park, took photos of it and then returned it.

What looked like drugs in the 1700 block of Blankenship Road turned out to be vitamins.

A man denies he stole a bottle of wine from Rite Aid.

Smoke coming from a vehicle in the 2800 block of White Salmon Court was just steam.

A 55-year-old woman refused to leave a hair salon.