A roundup of actual items, excerpted from the police blotters of the Lake Oswego and West Linn, Ore., newspapers:
A man accidentally loaned his friend a stolen Ford Falcon.
A caller was frightened by a “round, bright white light shining through the trees.” It was the moon.
Loud holiday music could be heard in the 1100 block of Blankenship Road.
An ill duck was trapped on a building ledge on Meadows Road.
A vehicle was scratched in the 1800 block of Blankenship Road.
A stinking truck full of garbage and rats is being left on First Street.
While seeking to find the source of the odor of marijuana, a man discovered a wandering skunk.
A couch was disposed of in a front yard in the 1100 block of Blankenship Road.
A drunken driver showed up at a garage sale.
A mysterious chicken suddenly appeared on Sierra Vista Drive. Police couldn’t make it go away.
Loud singing from a pub bothered neighbors.
While vacationing in Arizona, a woman had her antique cast iron chairs stolen from her backyard.
Barking dogs are disrupting physicians’ concentration while they are doing procedures on patients.
A hanger found in a driveway in the 1500 block of Sixth Street caused suspicion.
A man wearing huge shoes heedlessly walked into traffic near Mark Lane and Willamette Drive.
A stolen vehicle was recovered in the 1800 block of Blankenship Road.
Some juveniles took a watering can to the park, took photos of it and then returned it.
What looked like drugs in the 1700 block of Blankenship Road turned out to be vitamins.
A man denies he stole a bottle of wine from Rite Aid.
Smoke coming from a vehicle in the 2800 block of White Salmon Court was just steam.
A 55-year-old woman refused to leave a hair salon.